It’s pretty easy to see why “a year in the alps” is common place on allot of mountain bikers CVs….be it a mountain bike guide or maybe even a gap yar!

For me a week is never enough and even though this was my 9th trip to the holy land im still fixated by the place! 

 If you’re not riding your trying to justify selling up, moving out and staring your own business there but you know it wouldn’t last. For a start I don’t speak French even though I try…”un grand beire si vous plas monsuire” doesn’t really hold you in good stead when trying to convince there mayor to let you set up shop in his town. Also, what would I do when the snow comes? I couldn’t ride my bike that’s for sure and Cytech doesn’t cover ski equipment….yet…! 

Either way you talk yourself out of it…….and just as well as the injury to holiday ratio outthere is pretty high! This percentage increases tenfold if you’re riding all the time not to mention your bike gets a pure beating. But my trusty steed staying pinned together all week with only a few minor hiccups. 

 Anyway, we arrive in our beautiful chalet, dump the kit and get straight out onto the secret tracks we were shown last year. 

 Fresh, loamy turns, big jumps, and fast open sections with no braking bumps…..I wish! 

 Secret tracks out there last about 6 months. after that there sign posted better than the fire exits at the HSE, wider than the M25 and covered in braking bumps that make WW2 trenches look like cracks in the pavement…..Popeye arms and rattling bikes is not high on my “want” list.. 

 Luckily we found some new tracks and I was happy again. Off the brakes and off my head on pure mountain air. Nothing can go wrong. Everyone is having a good time. The sun is shining and the trails are sweet. Time for a crash then! 

 James Woodfeild, or my mate “beach” to most, the undisputed crash champion of the world had to do allot to beat his previous “epic fail” and he didn’t disappoint. 

 To say it was a big one is an understatement. Find yourself the steepest track in Switzerland. It has to be nice and open. No trees (the bike goes further this way and there’s nothing to catch you). Then you need to ride some really steep switch backs but don’t follow the switchbacks! that’s for girls….just huck off the back of the first one, making sure it’s a least 30ft to the landing below obviously making sure there’s plenty of cliffs and jagged rocks, and then proceeded to rag doll 100 meters down the mountain and scaring the living bejesus out of everyone your riding with, not to mention the nice people on the cable car going up for their turn at the now named “hucker turns”… 

 Off the mounting and straight to hospital using all the best pigeon French we have picked up to indicate that our friend has just almost died. They got the hint and ordered the meat wagon to come and take him away and the nice people at the bar even gave us all free beer whilst we waited. So we sit in the sun and chat about bikes drinking free beer. Not bad….oh sorry yes…so beach is injured and we are all really worried etc etc blar blar blar 

 That’s 1 down….who next?? 

 Well the answer came pretty quick the next day when our 5th member arrived gleeful knowing that he was going to spend 5 sunny days riding his beautiful new commencal in the Alps that was until we spotted the car tire makes on his bike bag. 

 1 pair of snapped boxxers later it was pretty clear he wasn’t riding and shuffled off to see how much it would hurt to rent a DH bike for the week. As it turns out its pretty painful. 

 Everyone else had the perfect week! Although we didn’t manage to get over to the world cup track at Champery but we rode some stuff that would make that look like a wee spin to the shops so imp not too fussed. 

 All in all a job well done and my bike is still in one piece ready for racing this weekend (I haven’t told the missus yet!!) 

sorry for the lack of photos! we where very busy riding!

where to go next year?